About Me

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Phoenix, Arizona, United States
Retro wifey, mommy to a princess, editor, PETA fanatic, and I Love Lucy!

Saturday, December 7, 2013


 Dear Santa:

It's been a long time since I've written.  I think my last letter was postmarked like 1972.  It was thoughtless of me to not write all these years.  And though I know I shoulda been on the naughty list from 1982-1987, you still looked out for me.  I really have no excuse.

It's now 2013 and here I am writing you once again. Why?  Because shit just got real!!!

As you can see, I am writing this letter using my child's #2 pencil, of which the eraser is half chewed so I will try to hold on any mistakes.  (No pens allowed here; it's waaaaaay easier to wash pencil off the walls, and furniture).

I have been a good mom this year!!  I fed my child, I bathed my child, I played with my child, I read to my child, I even cuddled with my child.  My point is, I have managed to keep a HUMAN BEING ALIVE!  That should count for something right?

I don't usually ask for much, but this year I am gonna need some things:

1.  A new pair of legs.  I have a fast running 4 year old.

2.  A pre-pregnancy body.  Anybody's will do.  (Never mind that my daughter was adopted).

3.  A CD of James Earl Jones (Darth Vader voice) with pre-recorded sayings of, "Don't Touch That," "Get Down," "Don't Paint The Cat," "Stop It," and my favorite, "GO TO BED!"

4.  A "Rosie Robot!"  You know that chick who was the maid for the Jetson's? I really gotta have one.

5.  I would love a new car with "fingerprint resistant windows." Yeah one of those.

6.  An extra 6 inches!  Oops let me explain...OF BED, an extra 6 inches of the bed!

7.  A TV that NEVER plays anything with talking animals!!  If that's too much, then a stereo that NEVER plays Old McDonald, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, or that pesky lullaby theme (yeah yeah we get it, bough falls down, all bad, go to sleep already)!

8.  A talking dolly that says, "You Are The BEST Mom!"  To boost my confidence as a mom and shit.

If it's too late to find any of these, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature and to drink a Pepsi BEFORE the ice melts.

Also, one last thing.  I am not sure if this is a God thing or a Santa thing, but could we declare ketchup and spaghetti sauce as a veggie?  That would clear my conscious immensely!

Here's to safe travels Santa.  Feel free to help yourself to all the cookies you want at my house, take your boots off and warm your tootsies by my fireplace, and sip some of that hot chocolate.  (If that pesky elf you sent here leaves you any)!

Well Santa, the dryer buzzer just went off.  That's my cue.  Not to mention the fact that my child just found me writing this letter in the refrigerator behind the crisper section, aaaaaand she wants her half eaten #2 pencil back!

With Love,


PS:  I used the back side of the latest cable bill statement to write you this letter.  Feel free to pay it if you feel that is a better gift instead.  Thank You.

PPS:  If the elf is still alive when you get here, kick him in the balls.  I think he pinched me!!

Merry Christmas!!!

PPPS:  Never mind.  You can disregard the PPS....


Sunday, November 24, 2013


As I was cleaning my 4 year old's room this week, it occurred to me all the things she has and how things have changed since I was her age.  And there is no such thing any more as "age appropriate," because the kids today are way smarter than I was at their age.  I thought I had it GOOD growing up.  But when I look at what my daughter has, I am rethinking the word GOOD.

When I was growing up, this is how it WAS:

 This WAS the spices on the table!

This WAS your IPod!

  This WAS Sat and Sun morning!

 This WAS a big screen TV!

       This WAS the Food Network!

                    This WAS outside!

  This WAS what you did on a rainy day!

 This WAS a computer!

This WAS your Phone and your Internet, all in one!

 This WAS the house you wanted to live in!

 This WAS cable! (Roughly 5 channels)!

 This WAS Friday night funny!

 This WAS REALITY television!


                            This WAS BET!

This WAS the school bus!

When I was growing up, I watched this with my mom probably 100s of times, and I am pretty darn sure she thought this was ALL impossible...

              Who knew???

After reflecting on my childhood and my daughter's childhood, I have decided that parents give what is the "BEST" at that time.  My parents did.  My daughter has a Kindle, a laptop computer, an InnoTab, a Leap Frog, and a flat screen TV with 1999 channels.  I am giving her the "BEST" that I can.  And I am not sure how she is going to top this when she has kids, but I sure hope I am around to see it! 

Saturday, November 16, 2013


When I was growing up, dad always said, "Beans and Cornbread is a poor man's supper."  Because when he was a youngster, it really WAS supper, A LOT!

 The house dad grew up in....

Dad would say, "I moved off that farm and joined the Navy so I could come back for your mom and take her away from that life of beans and cornbread."  He did want better for HER.


When I was growing up, we weren't disgustingly rich but I had everything I ever wanted or asked for.  We definitely DID NOT eat beans and cornbread every night.  When mom made beans, maybe about every 3 months or so, we thought it was a treat!  It was actually a meal that our whole family would eat.  Nothing much to be picky about with a meal like that.

It wasn't until later as I got older that I told dad, "you know, I LOVE beans and cornbread."  Dad would say that's because you didn't eat it every day.  Probably true.  But, I reminded dad that whenever mom made it, he lapped it up like a starving puppy.  As if, you like it?

Dad never copped to the fact that he really did LOVE beans and cornbread.  Maybe it was the flavor, maybe because it was a cheap and easy meal to make, maybe he just liked telling the story to remind us he grew up poor (parents thrive on guilting their children about how poor they were and how good we have it), or perhaps it was just a childhood memory that comes back to you when you sit down to eat that bowl of beans and cornbread.  Hmmmmm....MAYBE!

(I still live here)

Now that my parents have passed, I still make beans and cornbread.  I am not even ashamed to admit that I LOVE it, because I do.  For me, it is that childhood memory.  From the second I buy them in the grocery store, I am already thinking about the aroma that it will bring to the house when they are cooking and of course, dad's old stories and the laughter that ensued.  It keeps me grounded.  Although I could eat a T-bone steak every night of the week if I wanted to, but I don't, I will remind my daughter as she is growing up in this house that it is the "SIMPLE THINGS THAT MEAN SO MUCH." 

This week, I made a pot of, yes, BEANS.....

Well, it might have been just a "poor man's supper" to my dad, but to me it is a MEMORY OF LOVE.  I am pretty sure dad was watching over my family eating their beans and cornbread with a BIG smile....


Sunday, October 13, 2013


My baby turned 4 years old last week.  It hardly seems fair that she is 4 already, let alone that we find ourselves "upgrading" her room again.  I usually come up with something spectacular CLICK HERE if I do say so myself.  So this time, I tripped upon, or should I say I researched the Internet from noon til midnight 24/7 for a few months, until what I found what I was looking for, what I thought would be perfect for Desi.  Oh yeah, I DEFINITELY found it!

Since my little girl has outgrown her "princess room," in which I was pretty darn sure I couldn't and wouldn't find anything cuter than that, I actually found myself SHOCKED and AMAZED.  I had to stare at the computer screen for a few minutes, I was in complete AWE.  Someone in the universe was inside my brain and knew exactly what it was that I would love, above and beyond my imagination!  I text the hubby at work some pictures of this beauty that had captured my heart and soul; though I don't think I waited for him to respond as I was already on the phone with the guy trying to find out how I can get my daughter this furniture?! At this point, I was willing to be this stranger's "hooker" if it was necessary.  I have a bad back and all, but hey, I am a trooper!  Whatever it was going to take!  I wanted this!  BADLY!  Thankfully, and to ease all of your minds, I didn't have to go that route.  The man was fine with cash money.  WHEW!



I don't even remember asking the man the price.  It really didn't matter.  Even if I had to mortgage my house for the money, I  was having it.  I think he could tell the excitement in my voice, and even though he could have gouged my eyeballs out in the cost, he wasn't unreasonable.  

First things first, we had to get started by changing up the color of the walls:

 (On a side note, my hubby is the most AWESOME; when mama has a brain storm,
he just goes with it, he never tries to fight it)!



 Now that the furniture was decided on, Mr. Camel actually did the research and found the perfect accessories for her room: